The random tales of Hogwarts
by Really Random Person
Summary: What do you get if you take a sugar-high author reading Harry Potter books? This random fic. Rated T just incase of violence. Second story in my Random Tales Of series
1. Chapter 1: A Random new girl

**The random tales of Hogwarts: Part one**  
><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, J.K. Rowling does. I own Belle Hypes<strong>

The stone walled classroom was silent apart from the sound of quills scratching at the parchment on the desks.  
>The toadish teacher in a sicking pink outfit, watched as the students in her classroom write about the<br>theory on Defence Against the Dark Arts they had learnt when there was a insane giggling at the back of the classroom.  
>The toad like teacher walked, no <em>hopped<em>, to the back of the classroom and  
>saw a brown haired girl with icing around her mouth. The toadish teacher glared at the insane girl.<p>

"Who are you?" sneered the toad teacher, giving the girl a cold glare.  
>"I'm...hehehe...Belle Hypes" giggled the girl. Every student looked at her.<br>"Aren't you going to escape before evil Toadie Teacher Creature here tries to put us in an oven?" asked Belle Hypes.  
>The Toad in Pink looked angry, her face going red and steam coming out of her ears.<br>The students gulped and started to panic at the sight of an angry Toad in Pink.

"Everyone, RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! SHE'S GOING TO BLOW UP!" yelled Belle.  
>The students ran quickly and the Toad in Pink exploded<br>and the students in Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor cheered as they did not like the now deceased Toad In Pink.  
>Belle laughed happily as she hated the Toad in the first second she had met Toad teacher five seconds ago.<br>_Oh well. She did deserve that _thought Belle.  
>******************************************************************************************<p>

At dinner, Albus Dumbledore announced that the _dearly departed_ Professor Umbrigde was dead.  
>A student shouted out loud:<br>"YAY! THE EVIL TOAD IS DEAD!" The teachers gave the suspect (Harry Potter, the Boy-Who-Lived) a cold stare  
>and the suspect's eyes widened.<br>"I mean, no, not Professor Umbridge. She was *Not* good" Harry shouted, coughing.  
>"Anyway, I have appointed Professor Padfoot to help Professor Lupin with Defence Against the Dark Arts.<br>Please welcome Professor Padfoot and Professor Lupin to Hogwarts.  
>No,Professor Padfoot is <em>NOT<em>Sirus Black, the Mass Murderer who escaped Azkaban.  
>Now go back to your dinner and our new student Belle Hypes has been sorted into Slytherin.<br>I hope your house will welcome her, Professor Snape" Professor Dumbledore continued.  
>Belle walked very cat-like to her new house, a fang sticking out of her mouth, frightening the Slytherins.<p>

**(A/N: First chapter done. I decided to do a fanfiction on Harry Potter. Anyway, I had an urge to write and post this on my Birthday)**


	2. Chapter 2: Hyper Neville

**Random Tales of Hogwarts: **  
><strong>Part 2: Hyper Neville<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J. does. I only own Belle Hypes.<strong>

Harry Potter and co watched as Draco Malfoy and the rest of the Slytherins got up and ran away, screaming.  
>Belle looked at the spot the young Malfoy was sitting, her honey brown eyes shining with laughter.<br>She opened her mouth and pulled out the fake vampire teeth.  
>"A Slytherin tricking her own house mates? Never seen that before" laughed Fred Weasley, Ron's older brother.<br>"She would make a good prankster with us teaching her how to make really good pranks" added George Weasley, Fred's twin.

They saw the new girl pull out a list and tick something off. Harry then watched as the girl got up and walked over to the Gryffindor table.  
>"My house-mates left. I don't know why. I hope it is not because of the fake fangs" Belle sighed. The two Weasley twins gave Belle a grin.<br>"We've been trying..." started Fred.  
>"To get back, at the Slytherins" added George.<br>"To run away screaming for six years!" both twins finished together. Belle looked at them.

"Six whole years? Gosh, I made my primary school teachers cry by saying that I was their worst nightmare and that I was going to take their souls.  
>That went on since I was in year one" smirked the Slytherin girl.<p>

"Harry, remind me to _never_ get on Belle's bad side" Ron gulped.  
>"So, Belle. How did you get Umbridge to <em>explode<em>?" asked Hermione.  
>"Easy, I got help from a source. On the terms that I don't bother her again" the new girl sighed.<br>**  
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Line Break~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<strong>

During Defence against the Dark Arts lesson, Professor Padfoot was teaching when a Ministry of Magic official walked in.  
>The official looked at Professor Padfoot and screamed like the girly girl he is. The class looked at the now fainted official and laughed.<p>

"Wimp. I bet he will wet his pants if he knew I was the Lord Death killer who everyone is worried about" scoffed Neville Longbottom,before seeing the class looking at him.  
>"I mean, oh look. A talking Bee" he coughed. The class returned to looking at Professor Padfoot.<br>"So are there any questions?" asked the Professor.

"Yes, how come you look like Sirus Black, the Azkaban escapee artist?" asked a random Hufflepuff student.

Professor Padfoot sighed and looked at them.  
>"I guess I'm a doppelgänger of Sirus Black or I could be him, I don't know which of the two I am" lied the professor.<br>"Oh. Can I ask you something? Who gave Neville sugar?" asked Hermione.

The class looked around and no one owned up to giving Neville sugar.  
>Tumble-weed rolled on the classroom floor and Harry sighed.<p>

"My slaves! Tie up the official and send a ransom letter to the Ministry of Magic of a Thousand gallons for the release of this guy" Neville smirked.  
>"Aren't your family rich or something?" asked a Slytherin.<br>"Oh" Neville sighed.

**(A/N: So who gave Neville sugar? Find out in the Next Chapter!**_** Edited on the 03/12/14**_**)**


	3. Chapter 3:Of Hippogriffs and Randomness

**Random tales of Hogwarts: **  
><strong>Part 3: Of Hippogriffs and Randomness<strong>  
><strong>Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. J. does<strong>. **I own Belle Hypes and Nat.**

Harry, Fred, George, Hermione, Ron and Ginny watched as Neville had the Random Ministry Official tied up in ropes. Then they heard someone giggling insanely...and the Slytherins were shaking in fear. Harry turned around and saw Belle holding a bag of sugar. Before anyone knew it, a white hippogriff flew in with a brown haired girl with reddish-brown eyes on its back.

"Belle, I did it! I brought in a hippogriff into Hogwarts! YAY! HA, BEAT THAT HOGWARTS! Now where's Draco Malfoy? And Professor Snape?" yelled the demonic-looking girl.

Neville suddenly fainted, with half the Slytherins either crying or curling up in the fetal position. Draco Malfoy had paled in fear due to the demon-looking girl. Belle smiled evilly.

"Nat, what are you doing here? I thought you were in the Vamp computer room?" asked Belle.  
>"Well, I grew very bored, so I used my powers of Vampirism to get here. But I found this Hippogriff and thought, hey, let's cause chaos to Hogwarts" Nat replied.<p>

**~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Line Break~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Later on, Nat was being sorted when the Sorting Hat screamed in terror.  
>"SLYTHERIN! GET ME OF THIS GIRL'S HEAD!" the hat screeched.<br>Nat calmly walked over to the Slytherin table and sat next to Belle. The rest of the Slytherin  
>house whimpered and talked about a nine thousand year old vampire and the devil.<p>

"Wow, who would have thought that a strange girl could affect the whole of the Slytherin House. And the Sorting Hat. Man, I thought that you speaking Parseltongue was scary" Ron whistled.  
>"I thought everyone was scared of me because I can speak to snakes. But this girl is frightening to the Slytherins, even Snape" Harry added.<p>

"Y-You don't know the story of the devil's vampire daughter. The story goes that the devil had a daughter who was also a vampire. A wizard was trying to become the wizarding world's darkest Dark Lord so he went to the vampire daughter of the devil and asked for her help.  
>She accepted as long as she would be taught how to use magic. The wizard lied to her and she found out. It is said that she sent him to the very darkest pits in Hell's chamber" Neville whimpered.<p>

**(A/N: So who is Nat and what does she have to do with the vampire daughter of the Devil in Neville's tale? Find out in the next chapter. **_**Edited on the 03/12/14. Please tell me if I have misspelt Hippogriffs and I will re-edit. Also fetal is spelt fetal because I have used a United Kingdom dictionary on the Microsoft word.) **_


	4. Chapter 4: Sugar rush and weirdness

**The Random Tales of Hogwarts: **  
><strong>Part 4: <strong>Belle and Nat on a sugar rush  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I do not own Harry Potter**. **Only Nat and Belle Hypes

Neville had finished telling his story when a high pitched giggle alerted the Gryffindors to the two new, Slytherin girls who were laughing for no reason.  
>"Look! IT'S A HIPPOGRIFF!" yelled Belle.<p>

The Slytherins' faces whitened in fear. Draco Malfoy looked like he was going to faint.  
>Neville was pointing to Nat's laughing face.<br>Two white fangs peaked from the strange new girl's mouth while her eyes darken to deep reddish brown.  
>The pureblooded students shook with fear.<p>

"SHE'S THE DEVIL'S VAMPIRIC DAUGHTER! SHE HAS COME TO PUNISH US!" yelled the pureblooded students.  
>The muggleborn and muggle-raised students looked fearful at Nat, who was smirking evilly.<br>Belle was eating sweets while the glint of pure evil in her light brown eyes and the Slytherins screamed and ran off.

"What? We are only on a sugar rush" Belle whispered the not-so-brave Gryffindors.  
>The Great hall went silent as everyone else looked at the two Slytherin girls with understanding.<br>And then everyone began to talk again.

Suddenly, Professor Snape walked into the Great hall, covered in mushed pears while looking very angry.

"WEASLEY TWINS! IS THIS ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR PRANKS? BECAUSE IT HAS EARNED YOU SIX THOUSAND YEARS OF DETENTION!" roared Professor Snape.

The two Gryffindor Twins looked at the enraged professor.  
>"Professor Snape. We..." started Fred Weasley.<br>"...Did not place any pranks..."added George Weasley.  
>"...Involving pears. Besides, we were here the whole time" finished the twins at the same time. Harry looked at the enraged potions master.<p>

"Sir, they are telling the truth. We observed that the Weasley twins did not leave the Great Hall" Nat smirked. Snape nodded and sighed.  
>Belle, suddenly summoned the ghost of Umbridge, only to completely kill Umbridge yet <em>again<em>!

(**A/N: Short I know. Due to lack of ideas plus I wanted to post it today as it is the day I started this story. Review please.**_** Edited on the 03/12/14. I noticed a few mistakes and I have edited these mistakes.**_**)**


	5. Chapter 5: Vanishing Slytherins

**Random tales of Hogwarts: Keanu the Mary sue slayer.**

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter, the gummy bear song or Keanu Thompson. Keanu belongs to Sleepstar of Shadowclan.**

It was another day at Hogwarts since Belle Hypes and Nat joined the student body and currently the terrified Slytherins were sleeping in the corners of the Great Hall. Some of the Slytherins were still asleep when a blue eyed, black haired boy crept up to them and pulled out of his robe an air horn. He put the air horn close to the nearest Slytherin student and pressed the button.

The Slytherins jumped up in the air in fright. Draco Malfoy growled at Keanu but before the blonde haired boy could do anything, the second year Gryffindor went over to Belle Hypes and Nat, his twelve inches cherry and unicorn hair wand pointing at Nat.  
>"What are you doing, pointing your wand at me? I am a vampire as well as the Devil's daughter. You are just a wizard" sneered Nat.<p>

Keanu just waved his wand and the two Slytherins vanished with the song I'm a gummy bear playing. Then Professor Padfoot walked in, holding a blank piece of parchment and a quill.

"Well done, Mr Thompson. You have shown that you are a true prankster. In fact, we, the maurders brotherhood, want you to join the eternal cause of pranking the school as well as the Slytherins. We are a secret brotherhood so hush hush" the professor whispered.  
>Harry Potter then removed his invisibility cloak and pointed his wand at the ceiling.<p>

"AND SO ON THIS DAY THERE SHALL BE LIGHT!" yelled Harry.  
>Shortly, Professor Dumbledore had ordered several pizzas from a pizza place in Edinburgh which was close to the school.<p>

The pizza guy arrived and the ghosts of Hogwarts greeted those pizza guy.  
>He screamed in fear and ran away.<br>He tried to tell his family about the ghosts but they sent him to a mental hospital where he met another pizza guy and a homeless man who kept muttering about evil cats coming to rescue him.

************LINE BREAK*************

Meanwhile, Lord Voldemort was in Knockturn alley, buying a rocket that was magically modified to seek out a certain wizard by the use of the enemy wizard's blood. Lord Voldemort brought the rocket and got Peter Pettigrew to obtain some of Harry Potter's blood.  
>He added the sample of blood to the rocket and let it go.<p>

However, he forgot that his body had Potter's blood running through it via the ritual to create his body.  
>The rocket turned towards Lord Voldemort and blew him up.<br>The rocket had a charm on it to repair it after an explosion and so, the homeless wizard reclaimed his rocket.

The wizard took his rocket back to Knockturn alley while Lord Voldemort was scattered on the field in pieces.  
>Later on, a group of muggles found his body pieces and became famous for their discovery of an actual alien (to the muggles at least) while the Dark Lord's body pieces was sent to a secret organisation.<p>

**(I hope you enjoy this chapter! Next chapter will have starry ghost cats and castles made from Pizzas! ^_^ _Edited on the 03/12/14_)**


	6. Interlude One: Neville escapes

**The Random tales of Hogwarts: **  
><strong>Interlude one:<strong> Of Insane mutterings and Neville Escapes the Padded room.  
><strong>Disclaimer:<strong> I do not own Harry Potter. I own the OC'S.  
><strong>Author's Note: This chapter contains a character, Neville, being put in a room on his own. <strong>

Harry, Hermione and Ron was looking at Nat, who was muttering about her stupid house mates. Neville was afraid and curled up in fetal position. He began to mutter to something called Miss Blue Stars and Mr. White Storms. Harry, Ron and Hermione looked at Neville and started to back away slowly.

A random student shouted loudly.  
>"IT'S BANGERS AND MASH WEDNESDAY!" yelled the student. Neville screamed.<p>

"NO DON'T GO! I WANT MY MUMMY! I WANT MR FLUFFY AND TREVOR! HELP ME! IT'S THE DEVIL'S VAMPIRIC DAUGHTER!" screamed Neville. The teachers crowded around Neville and decided to calm him down by putting him in a room .

The Gryffindor boy was put in a room, far from the other student population, to calm down. The boy was screaming that he wasn't going to calm down.  
>"I'M NOT GOING TO CALM DOWN! I'M REALLY FRIGHTENED OF THE NEW GIRL CALLED NAT!" yelled Neville. He began plotting his escape.<p>

**~~~~~~Meanwhile far away from Neville's room~~~~~~~**

Nat was humming an end of the world theme. After all she was the legendary vampiric daughter of the Devil. Who would ever thought of her as _nice_ if she had no _nice_ bone in her body? She had to prove that she was the evillest of all evil. She would prove that even _Lord Voldemort_ was light compared to her evil! Her father would be so proud when _Voldie_ enters hell for all eternity! She laughed an evil laugh.

**~~~~~~Meanwhile in Neville's room~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**

Neville had dug himself an escape tunnel to escape the Room. He was currently humming the great escape theme as he continued to dig his way out of the room. Soon he had escaped and freedom felt great. Neville noticed that the halls were empty.  
>"Neville, I don't think we are in Hogwarts anymore" he muttered to himself. Shortly, he found a mirror that showed him what was going on in the world. Harry had a muggle toy and was threatening the Dark Lord with it. Ron was dressed up as a muggle fairy while Hermione ran pass with Professor Dumbledore's robes and weirdly, his beard. How she stole his beard, Neville didn't know or want to ask. Professor McGonagall was covering her face up in shame as Professor Dumbledore ran after Hermione wearing nothing but a bed sheet. Before Neville knew it, he was back in his world, rocking backwards and forwards, muttering about what he had seen cannot be unseen.<p>

**(A/N: I know it is very short and that I haven't updated this story since February, but I was both busy and had a writer's block. I had forgotten this chapter which will be a sort of interlude that should be chapter five. I may update again sometime during this month but it will be most likely that it will be after next week due to an assignment for Forensic Chemistry. But it may be the last update in a while since the assignments will start becoming closer together from January up to the May exams. I hope you have enjoyed reading this chapter.) **


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